Black Slime Siege: Independence’s New Gooey Menace
Mysterious black slime has begun oozing across Independence streets, coating cars and perplexing citizens—will Mayor Mike Scott’s emergency ‘Goo Summit’ save the day?
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Fireworks House on Fire: A Literal Boom in Independence
When a local retiree’s stash of Fourth-of-July fireworks turned his home into a bonfire, both firefighters and neighborhood gossips raced to the scene.
Autonomous Ice Cream Truck Causes Mayhem on Truman Road: Vanishing Cones and Confused Seniors
A self-driving ice cream truck from Crazy Cone Co. has Independence residents sprinting after runaway treats, prompting Councilmember Jenkins to call an emergency meeting.
Council Declares June 31st as Porch Sitting Day, Forgets June Has Only 30 Days
In a unanimous yet calendar-challenged decision, the Independence City Council proclaims a new holiday that doesn’t exist—because who needs calendars when you have porches?*
Local Man Discovers Revolutionary Tax Collection Method
KANSAS CITY, MO - In what financial experts are calling "the most creative interpretation of property assessment since someone decided beachfront property in Kansas was worth millions," Jackson...
Lee's Summit Schools Discover Water Has Been Too Spicy This Whole Time
LEE'S SUMMIT, MO - In a stunning revelation that has rocked the educational community, Lee's Summit R-7 School District announced today that what students have been calling "spicy water" for de...