Born Beauregard Reginald Snufflebottom IV to a political dynasty in old-money Mission Hills (his great-grandfather was a Kansas state assemblyman who once shook hands with someone who met Harry Truman), Beau was destined for politics. He served three terms as Kansas state senator representing Johnson County, specializing in agricultural subsidies and highway naming ceremonies.


His downfall came during his campaign for lieutenant governor when investigative journalists from The Kansas City Star discovered he'd been using campaign funds to finance "Snufflebottom Sanctuary," a llama farm that existed only in his imagination and elaborate Photoshopped social media posts supposedly located near Smithville Lake. The scandal broke when a donor asked to visit the llamas and Beau had to quickly rent actual llamas for a photo op at Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead in Overland Park. The rented llamas escaped during the press conference, causing a three-hour traffic jam on I-35.


After his humiliating defeat and brief legal troubles (community service picking up highway litter on I-70, ironically on a stretch he'd helped name "The Sunflower Highway"), Beau retreated to his elderly mother's guest house in a Leawood retirement community. He now survives on his mother's meatloaf, Social Security, and the occasional appearance fee at Johnson County Republican events where he's introduced as "a cautionary tale." His greatest insight: "Politics is just show business for ugly people, and I wasn't even pretty enough for that." He still owns seventeen campaign t-shirts that he wears unironically to Hy-Vee.