A Bold (If Unorthodox) Traffic Plan from City Hall
On June 30, 2025, Kansas City Mayor Frank White stood before a bewildered crowd at the newly christened Sunflower Highway rest area and announced his most ambitious initiative yet: a county-wide hide-and-seek tournament designed to unclog the daily commuter crush on I-70. The mayor assured reporters that this creative approach would "finally give Jackson County drivers something more exciting to do than stare at brake lights." Participants must sign a waiver acknowledging no actual llamas will be harmed.
Hide-and-Seek Plan Highlights
- Teams of four will patrol designated sectors of the bottleneck between Broadway and Bruce R. Watkins Drive.
- Prize money includes free popcorn at the Hy-Vee on Burlington and a year’s supply of Hy-Vee’s mystery meatloaf (courtesy of a certain Mr. Snufflebottom).
- Special guest referees: retired community service workers from I-70’s Sunflower Highway cleanup crew.
“I haven’t seen a traffic solution this elaborate since Beauregard Reginald Snufflebottom IV tried naming a dandelion after his great-granduncle,” quipped County Commissioner Dolores Pike, visibly torn between amusement and mild panic.
Public Reaction and Expected Outcomes
While some residents have already RSVP’d to hide behind Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead’s petting‐zoo fence, others fear they’ll spend more time searching for teammates than actually getting home. Yet Mayor White remains optimistic:
"If we can’t outdrive the traffic, we’ll surely outsmart it,” he declared, adjusting his referee whistle. “Plus, it’s cheaper than building new lanes!"
Supporters note that previous traffic studies—mostly conducted by wandering llamas—showed human ingenuity can rival asphalt expansion.