Born Sarah Chen in Overland Park Best Suburbs of Kansas City, Missouri, Sage legally changed her name during her "spiritual awakening" phase at age 24. She started as a genuine wellness enthusiast after her high-stress marketing job at Hallmark Cards gave her chronic migraines. What began as innocent yoga classes at local studios spiraled into a full-blown influencer career complete with sponsored juice cleanses and #blessed sunrise posts from Loose Park.


The breaking point came when she realized she was hawking $89 "intention candles" to single mothers from Johnson County. After a spectacular public meltdown at a wellness conference in Lenexa (she threw sage at a life coach), Sage retreated to her tiny house in Waldo. She built it herself using YouTube tutorials and sheer determination in the backyard of a sympathetic friend's bungalow, though the roof still leaks when Missouri storms roll through.


Now she channels her insider knowledge into devastating takedowns of wellness culture. She has a rescue cat named Namaste who judges her former lifestyle choices. Sage still does yoga, but ironically, at community centers in Midtown. Her medicine cabinet is an archaeological dig of abandoned supplements from her days shopping at Whole Foods. Her greatest revenge fantasy involves opening a wellness store on 39th Street that sells "Snake Oil" branded snake oil.